It's a ninja life

133,836 notes

DC:
Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
Marvel:
YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
DC:
We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
Marvel:
HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
DC:
The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
Marvel:
DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
DC:
After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
Marvel:
PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
DC:
We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
Marvel:
NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
DC:
We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
Marvel:
NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
DC:
We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
Marvel:
FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
DC:
Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
Marvel:
NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
DC:
Wait-
Marvel:
NEW FEMALE THOR
DC:
I didn't-
Marvel:
NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
Marvel:
TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
Marvel:
PEACE

1,278 notes

Me:
I ship these two women together so hard.
Person:
You just want to see them kiss.
Me:
No. I want to see them be friends. I want to see them slowly fall in love. I want to see them get giggly and flirt and blush and get flustered. I want them to go on an awkward first date and wait for the other's call. I want them to date. I want to see them go through hard times, but love each other enough to get through it together. I want them to fight and make up. I want them to get engaged and nervously tell their parents. I want them to argue over the wedding plans, but ultimately decide together. I want to see them get married. I want to see them have kids. I want to see them grow old together. Overall, I want to see their love story, and if they happen to kiss and I see, that's just an added bonus.

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